I was asked to share a favorite verse with you as you prepare to become a bride. The verse was to be related to marriage, etc. And as I was thinking of all the sweet verses in the Bible about marriage and God’s love, my heart took me along another train of thought. I am convinced that it was God directing me to focus on the words – His Words – that have been the most helpful in making my marriage a success. The following verses do not speak of His love directly, but as His words have penetrated my heart and convicted my soul they have demonstrated the love of God that transforms one that is naturally selfish and desiring of her own way into one who can love others sacrificially, in humility, and with a spirit of gentleness.
I cannot claim to be transformed, I still grapple with selfishness and pride, but the Lord has gentled me over the years. Although I have felt the sting of reproach, I have also felt the undergirding sweet reassurance of His love. If you are like me, words regarding the tongue and the attitude of the heart are the most convicting of sin.
So for women who have grown up under the tutelage of feminism, these words of advice come from a woman being transformed by the Holy Spirit of God and His word. Be encouraged that with the Lord’s help we can accomplish all things (Phil 4:13).
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears it down.
(Another translation from the Greek reads, ‘Bane or salvation to a home is woman.’)
I can see how my bad attitudes and critical tongue have been the most damaging to our marriage and the atmosphere of our home. God knows best and has placed my husband in authority over me – I can trust God with both my heart’s desires and my husband’s leadership.
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.
Practicing this takes patience. It is required that I be slow to anger and quick to listen and forgive. We are given the job to be our husband’s number one fan – always.
The one who guards ‘her’ mouth preserves ‘her’ life; the one who opens wide ‘her’ lips comes to ruin.
It has been a hard lesson for me to wait on others to say the things that I feel need to be said. It is self-centered to think that I have a corner on wisdom and understanding. It has been a lesson in submission to God for me.
If anyone thinks ‘herself’ religious and yet does not bridle ‘her’ tongue but deceives ‘her’ own heart, this ‘woman’s’ religion is worthless.
This verse caused the foundation under my faith to waver. I was forced to question whether or not I had deceived my own heart. I pray that the Lord finds my faith of worth when He returns or takes me home.
‘She’ who guards ‘her’ mouth and ‘her’ tongue, guards ‘her’ soul from troubles.
This seems to be a no-brainer – who doesn’t want her soul to be guarded from troubles?!
Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Recklessness comes from impatience and becoming caught up in the moment of frustration, anger, or even jest. I desire to be remembered as one whose words bring healing, don’t you?
The passage that has spoken volumes to me in regard to marriage is not a chapter of romantic love, but of living sacrifice. Romans 12 tells us how to worship our Lord, specifically in light of the mercy we have received in Jesus, we are to offer up our bodies as a living and holy sacrifice. We are to stop conforming to the world around us, and let God transform us by renewing our minds (by His word). Then our perspective will be in line with His will. Using the sound judgement that we have each been given, we evaluate ourselves. The gifts given us are to be used for the benefit of others. Respecting what is right in the sight of our husbands, we are to be at peace with everyone as we are able. Taking revenge and punishing others with scowls and silence is forbidden. We are to honor and to be devoted to one another in love – and our love is to be sincere.
I close my words of advice with Psalm 19:14, which says, “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” If our meditation is pleasing to God, our words will follow in honoring Him. We have control over that which we choose to meditate – more directly – choose to assume that the thoughts and intentions of your husband are loving and kind and dwell there.
I pray that you will experience fullness of joy in your marriage.